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Under Oath 3

Soothing sound of Luther Vandross (Many times Listened and cried to.

Some time ago I had begun a series known as under oath where I would disclose lived experiences that have aided my formation and inculcated some of the values, ideologies and attitudes I now possess. In "Under Oath", I become vulnerable - exposed, hoping that my heart and passion would be understood and perhaps connect with someone else's reality.

So why another in the series when it is Christmas time?

Shouldn't I have wishlists and best gifts for this season kind of thing going on on this blog? Well, I try to stick to my purpose for beginning to blog - to inspire thought.

You see Christmas is not a happy time for everybody! Oh...before you roll your eyes and say here comes the prophet of doom, listen me out.

Growing up, my life was very unusual. We were not poor but mine was a dysfunctional family. I begun living on my own from age 13; still formative years. Consequently, much of my childhood was missed. Christmas time with Family was something I craved, envied, missed. Now, I am far from home and there is still that lingering sadness. I NEVER liked Christmas carols or Christmas. Or maybe it was the loneliness and aloneness in the midst of it all that I hated the most.

Perhaps, as you enjoy the festivities you may want to think about inviting a friend who may be spending it alone to sit with your family or take him or her a plate or simply call to tell someone, "MERRY CHRISTMAS"

Here Is my Wishlist for Christmas:

5. Bottle of Red Wine

4. A Good Book (Like Heaven by Naila Maharaj)

3. Issey Miyake Intense

2. Black Kenneth Cole Shoes

1. Company (nothing worse than spending Christmas alone)


  1. Reminds me of the time i almost cried at church, it was last year they had this Christmas dinner, you see i never got that as a child growing up, so seeing families together does have an effect on me, but i try to do what a "man" is suppose to do bottle it up inside and put on a fake smile, it works until you go home and your alone, sigh, Damien i envy you, i envy the fact that you can out your feelings in words, and get it out there... if i could.. maybe.. just maybe i would feel better about myself, and just maybe I'd be a better person

  2. Damion, I never realised until your post that a "man" was supposed to bottle up his feeling and not cry. What does that say about my "manhood" or "masculine" identity? If I may point out something to you, you have nothing to envy me for since you have just expressed your feelings here on my blog post... You see we all make steps in the right direction without sometimes realising that we have. They may not be giant, noticeable steps but each step, as incremental as they be, lead us closer to our ideal.

    I wish you much happiness and peace this season and beyond.


  3. bredda man one wud av neva thought u had such an experience. I sorry im just seeing this cause i always feel terrible when my family comes together and i knw many av no where to go. My heart goes out to u and im sorry i was not in a position to offer more dan just prayer. but hey, i will work on da wine for when next i see.

    continue to be who u r:transparent and real...... jah blessings

  4. I will hold you to that wine, In fact it does not have to be a merlot or chardonnay. Carlo Rossi has affordable red wine for less than J$1000. I will settle for that.. lol.

    P.S. I will continue to be as Transparent as I can be. It is my own liberty but offers others an opportunity to experience their own liberty, vicariously, through my own disclosures.

    Nuff Love
    Nuff Respect
    Nuff Livity


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